V.

Well, the bottom line ended up being that they didn't give me a computer, a discount, or even a shirt. But I suppose the silver lining is that I didn't get arrested. Believe it or not, I really think that Apple Computers (now Apple Inc.) didn't actually enjoy my letters or find them amusing in any way. In the end it was almost as if "annoying" and/or "harrassing" was how they regarded them.

Could it be that Lynne Hoppe in Customer Relations back in 1984 didn't even find that first letter amusing? Was she only performing "PR" (which, amazingly enough, big companies used to do back then)? And (now this is a brand new question I'm just dreaming up just now) is it possible that Lynne Hoppe is the daughter or sister of the great, late columnist, Art Hoppe?

After the last letter (which I know was actually one more after the letter that I claimed was going to be the last letter) there were a couple more phone messages, and I did respond to those and actually talked to a couple different people on the phone, including one who was supposedly a person who had the authority to give me a computer. She, uh, didn't. She seemed to say it all boiled down to the idea that if they gave me a computer, then they'd have to give one to every person with the last name of Apple who wrote letters to them asking for a computer. When I asked how many of us there were, she wasn't sure. (My guess is that the number hovers right around one.)

Again, this is all for fun, and the concept shown above with the clever Apple graphics might be saying it has been me versus Apple the computer company, but that "versus" is meant in a good way. An Apple is the computer to have, and anything else is just drinking out of the toilet.